Self Development: How to help ME!

Indeed he succeeds who purifies his ownself (i.e. obeys and performs all that Allah ordered, by following the true Faith of Islamic Monotheism and by doing righteous good deeds).

And indeed he fails who corrupts his ownself (i.e. disobeys what Allah has ordered by rejecting the true Faith of Islamic Monotheism or by following polytheism, etc. or by doing every kind of evil wicked deeds).

A Muslim understands that happiness and success in this life and the next is dependent on the extent that he disciplines, trains, purifies, and improves himself. The following assignment, part of our Usool ud-Deen class, is based on the above ayaat from Surat-ush-Shams.

How to Help ME!

Come up with a plan to refine, purify, and cleanse your soul. It must include strategies for:

- Repentance, which means to stop all sins and acts of disobedience, with sorrow and regret for them and a resolution never to return to them.

- Watchfulness, where you make yourself aware that you are being watched by Allah and develop your awareness in your actions and thoughts.

- Taking Account, where you think about yourself and your actions, monitor your deeds, find ways to increase awareness of where your deeds will be recorded, and ways to improve your account bi idhn Illah ta'ala.

- Struggling and striving against yourself, realizing that by finding strategies to troubleshoot your weaknesses, course correct your bad habits, and fight your harmful desires.

Self Development: MyTrue Intentions

Following a lesson on the hadith, "Actions are by intentions," the blog post Be Real with Yourself was read and an essay was assigned as follows:

My True Intentions

Introduction: Give the proof you know about actions being rewarded as per the intention and any relevant explanation.

Paragraphs 1-3: Give three examples of incidents when your actions weren't in accordance with your intention; be honest.

Conclusion: What have you learned and what strategies might you use to align your actions with good intentions in the future?

The most frequent misconception

The most frequent misconception about our land in New Mexico is that it is hot. We live in a steppe in the Northeast corner of New Mexico at an elevation of 6,000 feet above sea level. The climate is cold arid. We have four seasons, all of which are distinct. Here are a few photos from this autumn and winter 2014/2015. It's not what we'd call hot!

Autumn 2014 (November)

 

Winter 2014/15 (December/January)

February 2015

Sourdough: The Final Frontier

My first sourdough loaf, crispy crust and simply beautiful...to me! My first sourdough loaf, sliced and waiting for butter! The starter is nothing more than 1/2 cup flour and 1/3 cup water mixed in this jar and the same amounts added every 12 hours until it starts to get that lovely bubble! Simple as that. Sourdough pretzels It's been a long time coming, bringing the fine art of sourdough leavening to our home. Now it's finally here, we are all excited at the new taste and nutrient adventures open to us! Traditional leavening means no reliance on store bought yeast and changes a loaf of bread into a giant vitamin B supplement with a plethora of other available nutrients.  It also neutralises whatever is aggravating about the grains, as they are soaked and treated in the age old way...and we LOVE age old ways maashaa Allah! As for my resource for the starter and dough recipe,  I used Nourished Kitchen, :

Self Discovery Exercise through Poetry

I am  (2 traits that describe you)
I wonder if  (what do you wonder?)
I hear (what sounds fill your ears?)
I see (what visions fill your head?)
I want (what desires fuel your actions?)
I dream (what might your dream?)
I worry (what bothers you?)
I feel (what do you feel?)
I am (2 different traits that describe you)

You can see my completed poem over at Mai to the Extreme in the post, Looking Inward...

Parenting: Answering a Reader's Question

"How do you and your family memorize specific ayat or hadith, then encourage each other to implement it? Also how do you handle those in household who refuse to implement the guidance or make excuses about them not wanting to change their character to be more like the believer? I don't want to be a dictator, but I want improvement in our characters so we can be of those who Allah loves."

Before I answer the first and second parts of the question, I must address the last sentence. Allah has put us in authority over our children, over our families, those in our care or guardianship. Allah has told us to save ourselves and our families from the fire (Surah at Tahreem). Allah has put obedience to and good treatment of parents right up there in the same sentence as tawheed! It is second only to tawheed, if looked at from that perspective. In fact, in being teamed with tawheed in the Qur'aan, the two become contingent on each other, with tawheed not being perfected without obedience to parents and vice versa. Subhaan Allah, it is the first subject to be covered in Adab ul Mufrad - the book of Manners by Imam Al Bukhaaree, raheemahUllah! So, my husband and I ARE dictators in our household. We are in authority over our children and we are responsible for their tarbiyyah - upbringing, education, practice, and correction. Even when they are teenagers or young adults, we continue to be responsible. We will answer to Allah for it, and we will do our best to enforce it.

As for memorizing ayaat and hadith and then encouraging each other to implement them, I remind and make connections ad nauseum. I mean, I feel like I should make recordings of my reminders, I have to say them so often. However, every time I remind, I have enjoined the good - improved my emaan and every time I forbid a wrong, I have fulfilled my duty to my fellow Muslim as per Allah and His Messenger's command. I have no qualms whatsoever about continuing on my path, even though I might be construed as Mean and Monstrous Mama Mai!  I have written about the reminders from the Qur'aan in Theme Ayah and Ayah of the Moment. Also about reminding and guiding in The Bad Guy-ette. When it comes to teaching them, I also involve them in lessons and their application to bring about a greater understanding and appreciation of my role as a parent, which you can read about in Parenting Audit. Also about setting examples in How our Children help our Islam and also in If you can't make it, Fake it.

For those difficult cases, we are straight talkers. There is no vague suggestion or warning look, but simply clear statements that their behavior is displeasing to Allah and therefore unacceptable to us. Over the years, I've learned various things about discipline, one of which was This Epiphany. When those behaviors are persisted upon, and as we have other children who are influenced by such behavior, they are at times put under a gag order, not permitted to speak to their siblings until an improvement is seen. We have even exiled older children to their rooms for periods of up to one month as part of their rectification program.I wrote about our discipline system on Parenting without Punishment. In Islamic terms, such punishments are called at-ta'zeer, which is to discipline by beating, scolding, shunning, or expelling and is considered obligatory for every sin for which Islamic Legislation has not stipulated a Hadd or an expiation. It is done to educate, refine, and discipline.

And, lastly, remember that our first port of call should be The Parenting Help Hotline.
Dua' is the most powerful ally of the believer and the dua' of a parent for their children is one of the most powerful. I recommend My Mothering Dua' and some Golden Rules for Mothers.

Mothering is such a big issue that I wrote a poem about it, LOL!

A mother's tears are never for transitory things; they are not worth misery or heartache.
A mother's tears are for the souls she bears the responsibility of raising for Allah's Pleasure.
A mother's tears have names written on them.
That is what makes her a mother.
That is why Jennah lies at her feet.

Got land, but no house?

Many people dream of having land, but don't think as far as where they will actually live if the land doesn't come with a house. Others look for land with a house, but it is usually very expensive. The beauty of having undeveloped land, is that you have a clean slate to do whatever you want with. You can design your home, it's materials, orientation, features, as well as its surroundings.

Our 51 acres of land cost $19,000 maashaa Allah. It is all grassland, for over 30 years simply being used for grazing cattle. That means that we need something to live in while developing it and building our permanent cob homes, inshaa Allah.  We looked at all the options for temporary accommodation, including building tiny houses, converting shipping containers, and barns but found that they all worked out to $10,000 each minimum. We realized that travel trailers (caravans) are the least expensive and most practical form of year-round, temporary accommodation for a family while building their permanent home.

We bought a 28 foot travel trailer for $1,800.00 our first summer at Healing Earth, and it served us well. However, knowing that we will need to live in it year round while we work and build, we just bought a newer one. It cost $2,800 and everything works in it, so we can be comfortable inshaa Allah.

We plan to buy another with 4 bunk beds and a master bedroom, inshaa Allah. To protect them from the elements and prevent any issues with roof damage or leaking, we plan to put them underneath carports. In this way, they can be used as guest, student, teacher, Woofer, or Poosher accommodation long after we have built our home, inshaa Allah.

When we look at the huge amounts of money people are spending on tiny houses, most of which are not particularly natural or non-toxic, we can't help but think that they could have a travel trailer for a fraction of the cost with all the facilities and still live small. Even the ones with slide-outs can easily be found for under $5,000.00 maashaa Allah. While it is mobile and can be moved wherever needed, it doesn't need any planning permission, unlike a fixed structure. In addition, anytime we want to go on vacation or take a trip, we can literally take the whole house with us, eliminating hotel expenses and eating out. Not "Trailer Trash," but rather, "Trailer Treasure!"Al hamdul'Illah, it works for us!