Parenting: Communicative Problem Solving - Understanding Sorry

As parents, it is vital that we inculcate in our children the true concept of feeling sorry, having regret for wrong actions. This is because being sorry is a key ingredient in the recipe for tawbah - sincere repentance to Allah. If there is no regret and sorrow at doing a wrong, then there is no sincere repentance and also no conscience, which is part of developing morality - the knowledge of right and wrong. These are the questions posed to our children  

Questions:

• What does it mean to be sorry about something? 


• What kind of actions might someone feel sorry about?
  
• What are some actions that you feel sorry about?
   
• Is is good to feel sorry about something that Allah sends us, like the life He decreed for us, a punishment, or a test? Why or why not?
  
• Why is it important to feel sorry about doing haraam actions and things Allah dislikes (makrooh)?
  
• What happens if you don't feel sorry about doing those things?
  
• If you say you are sorry to someone, but you keep doing the same thing to them or being rude or mean to them, are you really sorry or just saying it?
  
• If you did bad actions to a few people, but only say sorry to one or two, what does that mean?
  
• Can you tell if people say they are sorry to you, but don't mean it? How can you tell?

 Extension:

The extension is an additional few prompts or reminders to correct thinking or bring about more in-depth thought on the subject.

If Allah sends us a punishment or test, what is the best thing for us to say? What is the best reaction to have  in such situations?

The Sad and Bad of "Sorry"