Friday, December 27, 2013

Exposure

Bism Illah wa as salaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

Exposure is a POWERFUL thing. It can cause dissatisfaction, greed, misery, materialism, divorce, corruption, and great haraam. However, handled with care and forethought, exposure is the key to positive outcomes, halal pursuits, and pleasure in the most simple things.

Part of the reason children like the things they do is simply due to exposure. If they are exposed to TV, music, video games, amusement parks, and shopping as forms of recreation, then they will be the things they choose from, along with the things they have seen through those media. You will find them constantly wanting the things they have seen advertised or in the shop windows. You will find them often inactive and considering Wii a viable form of sports.Rather than sit and talk face to face, they will communicate via the latest app, be it Whatsapp, Instagram or the ever present Facebook. Bad exposure results in parents hearing those awful words from their children, "I'm bored. There's nothing to do," because they always require entertainment from an external source.

However, when you expose your children to nature, playing in the park, making things out of mud, cooking, crafts, knitting, sewing, building things, growing things, physical activities and games, pretend role playing, and reading to learn about real people, places, and situations, you will find them choosing from those things as forms of recreation.The larger their repertoire of skills, abilities, intellectual and physical outlets, the more healthy, balanced, and competent they will be. Good exposure results in parents finding that their children are never bored; rather they don't have time to do all the different things they'd like to do.

When we were preparing for a trip to Makkah to meet up with my oldest friend and her family, my 7 and 10 year old daughters got out their knitting book and knitted a handbag and a phone cover for her youngest daughter - my namesake - Mai. They also knitted a purse for her older sister. We made them gifts of homemade coco-mint lip balm and honey and orange body bars. I baked them brownies. They don't think about having money to buy gifts for others, they think about what they can make - a gift made with love and thought and real effort on their part, maashaa Allah.

Exposure is something that can be done on a larger scale when socializing with other families, too. We went to the park and had knitting lessons. We had a monthly girls gathering where we cooked something healthy and delicious. We crafted rag rugs. We had theme nights where everyone dressed "prairie" and we cooked prairie food and learned about life back then for the pioneers.

I talk about my eating philosophy with friends and acquaintances, but it is never simply that. I feed them. I show them that you can eat halaal, tayyibaat, truly healthy and nutritious food that tastes wonderful, without compromise. I expose them to foods that are simple to make, so if they say they love them, I can give them the recipe and they can make it themselves easily with few ingredients.

Exposure is also da'wah. In sharing my thoughts and struggles publicly, I expose others to a positive approach to life's tests. I can expose them to better knowledge and understanding of Allah and His Perfection,  and how that can be applied in real-life situations, bi idhn Illah ta'ala.

So, consider the power of exposure, and seek not only to expose others to good and positive things, but also to ensure that you are being exposed to beneficial things... for this life and your ultimate success in the aakhirah inshaa Allah.

4 comments:

  1. Subhanallah, this post is sooo true!! As young children my brothers and I had so much land to roam around on. We moved and the cable tv was brought in, and suddenly we were bored. We still had a lot of land to play on, but it wasn't as frequent or the same.
    I recently moved in with family who have tv on in every room in the house practically and subhanallah I cannot begin to tell you the ill effects it has had on us. I am so disappointed because before moving we didn't even own a tv. It's my fault and my baby girl is seeing all of that stuff. Make du'a for me please ukhti, I know this is personal and all but truly it is drowning us.

    Amina Bint Yusuf Knuckles

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    1. You have my du'a, Amina! It is scary to have your daughter exposed to TV at such a young age, because she can become addicted and it will stay with her. I had firsthand experience of that with my stepchildren. No matter how many different things they were exposed to and had to occupy them, if a TV was on somewhere, they were glued to it like drug addicts...because that's what it is, a addictive drug of destruction. Inshaa Allah, you step up the mother/daughter activities and and keep her occupied away from the screen. May Allah make a way out of that environment for you soon and protect you from all the harms of it - ameen!

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  2. As salamualaikum!

    Mai, Tabarakaallah, I cannot begin to explain the love I have for you fisbillilah! May Allah shower your family with barakah and always make your hearts content and turned towards him! Ameen!

    I myself am trying to transition into a healthier lifestyle. I'm in my first pregnancy and honestly feel horrible physically, emotionally and sometimes spiritually. May Allah heal me! Do you have tips on transition? I'm investing in the book "nourishing traditions" to get started on a healthy traditional diet and cooking healing foods. I need to get myself and my family on board to reap the beautiful benefits that Allah bestowed upon us, especially while my baby is young and growing! Any advice and du'a is appreciated! I feel as though you and umm mujaahid are the older wiser versions of myself LOL May Allah reward you both for what you've taught me! Ameen

    Salamualaikum!
    Imani

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    1. Wa alaykum ussalaam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh Imani!

      Wa feekee tabarakAllah! May the One for Whom you love me, love you and ameen to your du'a for you, me, and all the believers - ameen!

      Subhaan Allah, pregnancy is a challenge and a test in itself! I'm happy and excited for you...and totally in sympathy with your feelings. As for transitioning - I'm here for you bi idhn Illah ta'ala. Please drop me an e-mail at madinahnaseeha@gmail com and I will send you an e-book called Love Nourishing Children, also based on the information in Nourishing Traditions. The first thing I recommend is to change your fats to healthy, beneficial ones. Get organic virgin coconut oil, cultured butter (Organic Valley in the regular supermarket), and extra virgin organic olive oil. As far as possible cook from scratch and avoid foods that are high in pesticides and chemical additives or processing.

      I'd be happy to work with you and your specific situation to find workable solutions and changes that you and your whole family will love inshaa Allah. May Allah open the doors to a lifestyle more pleasing to Him and bless you with newfound health and vitality in all aspects of your body, mind, and heart - ameen!

      Barak Allahu feekee! I look forward to hearing from you, inshaa Allah.

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